How to handle gift giving in the workplace

Dear Readers: It’s that time of year again when gift giving may stretch to your workplace. You may wonder if it’s bad form to not give to your boss and colleagues. How should you handle it?

If you feel like your spending is excessive this time of year, even if you boost your income in some way, you’re not alone. According to a Bankrate survey, more than one in three Americans earn additional money through a side hustle and 32% think they’ll always need one.

So, one may wonder if you feel obligated to give gifts to your boss and all of your co-workers especially when your bank account is stretched thin. Additionally, your side hustle dollars may be earmarked for important bills and gifts for your family and inner circle — not your work family.

According to Kate Dorman, certified financial therapist and founder of Sound Financial Therapy, which explores how values, feelings and money impact financial behaviors and our relationships to others, it’s OK to not participate.

Give yourself permission to opt-out and succinctly communicate. Dorman said, “If you are not interested in participating in a group gift to your boss, thank your colleagues for offering to include you and inform them that you will not be participating this year. ‘I’m going to opt out this year. Thanks for offering to include me though.’ You may feel that you have to provide a long and detailed justification, but often, being clear, simple and direct is the best approach.”

You may be surprised how your colleagues may breathe a sigh of relief and follow suit; chances are, you’re not the only one who chooses not to participate. “Regardless of where you work or your income, you are absolutely not the only employee stressed about money, especially not during the holidays. You may be surprised how many people appreciate your willingness to change the culture,” said Dorman.

If, however, the expectation of the culture is to give gifts, set boundaries with a spending amount limit such as a maximum spend of $25. Other ideas, per Dorman, include a thoughtful, handwritten card, a cookie exchange or a Secret Santa, where you buy one gift for a colleague instead of buying for everyone.

As far as how to handle it if you work remotely, Jo Hayes, etiquette expert at EtiquetteExpert.org, said it depends on the type of organization and your relationship with your colleague/boss.

“But even if one is working remotely, it’s still a thoughtful gesture to gift something small, and/or, a kindly worded card. Gifts are not simply about ‘giving stuff’ to people. They are meant to demonstrate appreciation and gratitude,” said Hayes.

“Not only does card/gift giving bless the recipient, it blesses the giver — many would argue, even more than those receiving the gift. Research shows that expressing appreciation and gratitude boosts our mental and emotional health, and overall sense of wellness, and also benefits our relationships.”

Vicki Salemi is a career expert for Monster, an author, a speaker and consultant, TV commentator and former corporate recruiter./Tribune News Service